Well, we want to um… er… know about it. So to help you tell us all about it we have created the following form for reporting. It does not matter if the complaint is game related, if you have a pouty lower lip, we want to hear about the reason why.

Butthurt Report

Presented as a public service by Friends In War Clan

Date and time Butthurt was received 

Source of Butthurt

In-Game Chat
Teamspeak Channel
Training Room
Forum Discussion
YouTube Discussion

Please tell us a little more about the incident of Butthurt…

Someone was rude in the game chat, and to me.
Someone called me a ‘Noob’ in the game chat.
A Team Mate called me a ‘Noob’ and then shot me in the ass (my tank’s ass).
I was kicked from a platoon!
I was kicked from a Training Room.
I was kicked from my Clan.
I was called an idiot in a Forum Discussion.
I got killed by a Hacker.
I was told to uninstall the game, and it hurt.
I asked for a critique on my art/writing, and got it.
Someone posted something in a non-PC manner, and the truth hurt.
Someone told me to eat a booger.
Other (Please, don’t explain)¬†

Can you describe the damages you incurred from said Butthurt?

Were there tears? Yes No
Was there permanent mental scarring from the Butthurt? Yes No
Was there any lost sleep? Yes No
Did you miss work or arrive late on account of the Butthurt? Yes No
Were you forced to take drastic steps in order to cope? (i.e. switching the computer off and going outside for a while) Yes No
Were there emergency phone calls or text messages that shaved valuable minutes off your life? Yes No
Was there any Carpal Tunnel Syndrome suffered from typing up long-ass Butthurt rebuttals? Yes No
Was there any Erectile Dysfunction? Yes No
Other (Please, don’t explain)

Have you taken any actions in connection with this Butthurt?

I told them off in game chat but was so flustered all the typos made me sound like an idiot.
I wrote a six thousand word response telling them how wrong and stupid they were, and how they should get a life.
I organized a DDoS attack on their server/website!
I used a Trojan virus to gain access to their PC, got all their info and will be on the beach in Cancun next week, on their dime!
I used a Trojan virus to gain access to their PC and loaded their HDD with a bunch of nasty porn, wait til their wife sees it.
I posted his sister’s phone number in the rest area restrooms near his town along with an offer of a ‘good time’
I dressed up in a ghillie suit and camo’d up my face, but my wife/mom saw me, told me I was acting like a child, shut off the computer and made me go to bed. The next day she enrolled me in anger management therapy.
I realized the arguing on the internet is a huge waste of time and found something better to do with my life.
Other (Please don’t explain)

Tell us what measures you would like to see taken to exact a suitable revenge for you.

They are big mean poopy-pants who should be banned from the internet until they learn that I am right and superior and they are wrong and should bow down to me now!
I think a monthly check from them, in the amount of $100, for the rest of their lives should be adequate.
Indentured servitude, so that I may hurl abuse at them on a daily basis.
Their house should burn down, their dog shot, the children sold off for medical experiments, and I should have my way with their wife from now on!
They should be forced off a winding mountainous road so that I may watch them bounce to their fiery demise!
I should be given Power of Attorney over all their affairs so that I can sell off all their stuff and force their family, penniless onto the street!
They should be fired from their job for being a Buttplug! It should say that on the termination papers.
They should be set free, in the middle of the ocean, in a rowboat with one oar!
They, and everyone like them, should be rounded up into internement camps so that I, and those who agree with me, can all enjoy our lives without their kind!
They should be made to wear dresses and hang around in dangerous bars downtown.
Other ideas? (Please don’t explain)

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